Thursday, February 10, 2005


I don't know why suddenly these days some friends of mine are in edgy situations. They shared me their feelings in their emails to me and unfortunately I am never able to really help except giving my words of comfort, sharing my experiences, and lending my ears to listen.

One of some friends shared me how she is feeling so empty living in one place, tiring of her work, frustated about her love-life.... lost in the dessert.. emptiness of life.. where all look too similar.. sands... sands everywhere. Her experience may sound familiar to so many people. At least once in our lives, each of us experiences such a dry moment, feel lost and empty. We feel trapped in the chaotic situation with a pile of unsolved problems. We struggle to get out from this trap but just get drowned deeper and deeper. We end up feeling deeply discontent, unhappy, and frustated.

A labyrinth named 'life' is a tangled maze. Sometimes, or most of times, we try to straighten each string of the web of life, struggle to put each string into boxes of elements of life (school, work, love, etc..etc.. you name it), sweat to sort the tangle out. Most of times, or in all times, we fail. Everything in the web of life are connected. There is never a way to sort out the tangle, because it is a web, it is a labyrinth, and yes, it's a maze, a big confusion. And that's why life is complicated and not easy. Yet precisely in its complexity, life becomes so unpredictable, mysterious, challenging.. and in itself is very interesting, precious and valuable. Still, while we know how complicated and interesting life is, we continue struggling to rationalize the life.

In times of turbulence, we rationalize it even more. We try to identify problems, causes, causality links, etc...etc... We thought we knew the answer. We thought the problem was the person, or the work, or the family....the place...... and many other or's. But in fact, our relationships to these nodes-- persons around us, our work, our family, our school, etc -- are in our big bundle, none is independent, none can be isolated from others. Our problems after all cannot be externalized as much as happiness also cannot be external to our existence. When we are discontent abour ourselves, all nodes around us seem to be collapsed.. but they fix themselves once we are content...

When we're discontent we sometimes think it perhaps because of the place, the people, the work, etc...etc... but it's not merely one of them or all of them. Life is mostly about ourselves, the self. Life is about you. Yes, life is about me.

In my life, things are begun with me. Life is about me. Meaningful contented life, full of happiness, is depending only on one self, ME. Problems, stressful moments, confusion, frustation, anger, tears, they are always there... never really stop. But the love to life and the full contentment -- about who we are and what we are doing -- can wrap and protect the life... makes life so strong, so impeccable, unbreakable.*

I see tress, red roses too
I see them bloom for me, and you
and I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
are also in the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do
They're really saying, "I love you"

Ah, life is so precious.... When I listen to this song, I smell the sound of contentment. How I love this life. I find love with places I go, people I meet, and all things in between.... I fall in love with life, everyday I wake up in the morning, again and again.....

1 comment:

mellyana said...

wish to be able to say it outloud: it's a wonderful world..or day... :)